Goodbye El Ay.

September 6, 2010 § Leave a comment

Some of my friends, still want me to save Carl. From his girlfriend? From himself? As if I have some power over him. And at the beginning of this summer, I would have tried. Or at least believed that I owed him that much.

But not now. Never again.

And even though, my love for him made perfect sense most of the time, I don’t feel it anymore. I have no intention of attempting to feel it again, either. Even if it will save his soul.

It’s not my place anymore.

And I can’t wait to hug Scott. To explain to him all the ways I feel about life. And love. Because he won’t judge me. He won’t write me off. Perhaps in some ways, he IS my soulmate.

In some ways, he has shown me unconditional love. The kind you can only find within the confines of your family.

And I’m sure that he can cheer me up. Even this time. Even after I leave part of my heart outside of this house.

Or at least I count on that.

I have been so happy lately. I forgot about that.
I don’t deserve it

No no. I do.

I deserve perfect.



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