September 14, 2010 § Leave a comment
So Carl’s going to be a dad. And I can’t say that I’m sad about it. Or jealous. Or upset.
But my chest feels strange sometimes. And I want to shake him. To convince him to
finally leave me alone. And occasionally I feel pretty fucking angry at him.
Because the other day, he texted me. Drunk. Because he broke up with his
boygirlfriend. And he wanted me to know that he never got over me. That he misses me. That he needs me in his life.
But I already got used to not having him in mine. For a long time there, I felt nothing.
I miss El Ay. And sometimes I daydream about never leaving there. But I know that wouldn’t have been good. For anyone. But I miss John Shea. And <3.
Things making me Happy today:
Tegan. Pug. Getting to see Smash, Dana, and LP. Clean rooms. Mirror pictures. Lovetext. John Shea. From Here to Eternity. Lovetapes. Loving touch tonight! Kissing Scott’s face. MI weather. Shower.