September 18, 2010 § Leave a comment
Lately, I’ve been escaping to these alternate realities in my head. In his head. And even if I know better than to be hopeful. Or naive. I enjoy the way that these fictional places make me feel.
That “heaven” isn’t that far away from Michigan. And that someday, someone will bring this out of me again. Because now I know that I am capable of it. I know that it is possible for me to love and be loved with so much fire that it flips my world upside down. And I know that there are people in this world that look at me and see so much more than the waitress in the burger place. That see light and love inside my eyes.
I stopped knowing what that was like so long ago, that I didn’t think it existed. I’m not even sure if it ever existed, without drama and pain attached to the end of it. Not before such a short time ago.
And maybe that’s why I can confidently tell Dana that she is going to be okay. That her heart will heal and be placed back inside her chest. Intact. That someday when she’s just minding her own business, someone is going to walk into her life without intentions or motives, and leave her with hope again. With love.
And it will probably be more intense than anything she has ever felt.
It was more intense than anything I have ever felt.
So that is why I will daydream. When I’m alone. When I’m in crowded places.
It reminds me that I’m alive. It reminds me that I am okay. And beautiful. And full of so much promise.
It reminds me of what I discovered in my heart.