A little fiction?
September 22, 2010 § Leave a comment
She knows how naive and crazy she is to continue carrying on like this. To make promises and build false hope, with a man she has no entitlement to. She knows that running away from this would be the healthiest choice, but she’s never done anything right.
Her friends were envious of her in a way. Convinced that she had magic between her legs. But what is there to be envious of? Her longest relationship ended years ago. Leaving scars and bruises on her skin that have never been visible to the blind eye. And now? Now she’s in love with the unattainable and sleeping with someone else to fill the void.
That’s hardly fair. To anyone.
But she’ll do it just the same. Hiding her heart behind bright red camouflage. Holding out for change. For a passion that breaks her bones and rips her chest open. Revealing a big beating heart.
It’s not broken anymore. It’s free.
Come take it.
No, not you. Not you. Not you.
Come take it.
What is there to be envious about? That she was easy to love? That she had her share of swooning men?
Where were they when she woke up, packed up her car, and left everything she loved behind? Everything she searched this planet for before those last two weeks, was discovered.
Too late? Too soon?
She was never on time. It made perfect sense now.
But they were right…
Because she’ll always have the memories. All of L.A. lit up as though asking her to stay. The Hollywood signs. Dirty motels. The smell of exhaust. Forbidden love. The sound of pure laughter. The feeling only a child experiences on Christmas morning. Honesty.
The good with the bad. The happiness with the discontent. She remembers it all. She drinks it in. Feeds on it.
They were right. They should be envious.
It just took her so long to realize that she was alive.
“Whether maybe, strangest possibility of all, it was that love between a man and a woman happened to them all this way, was born full-grown from the copulation of a chance situation with a meaningless coincidence.”