Say goodnight and go.

September 27, 2010 § Leave a comment

The minute I pushed send, I felt my chest cave in on itself. As though this heart was keeping everything intact. And I read the words out loud to myself, to make sure that everything was delivered correctly, until my voice started to crack. Until my eyes threatened me with tears, that weren’t meant for me this time around. So I stopped long enough to catch my breath and convince myself that this was the most mature decision I would make all year.

And I guess I should be so proud of myself. For doing what’s right. For me. For Him. For us.

I just don’t feel like being happy about it today. I don’t feel like much of anything.

So goodnight world. I’m going to go sleep this away. And go to work to distract this away. Then go out to hide this away. Behind fake laughter. And smiles that will convince even me.

I know that I’m dramatic, but I feel dramatic tonight.

Like someone pulled out the rug while I was running towards something that I loved.

</3

“Wait for the year to drown. Spring forward. Fall back down. I’m trying not to wonder where you are.”

Advertisements

Tagged: ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Say goodnight and go. at Heatherjoylove's Blog.

meta

%d bloggers like this: