October 19, 2010 § Leave a comment

I have this irrational fear of falling in love. Truly. Of finding somebody who comforts me, but that I am not crazy and passionate about. Of finding someone who is good to me. Someone that I love. When the person that I am supposed to be with, is out in the world, being with their own version of comforting love.

I fear that I will never find someone who makes me crazy in the best of ways. Who takes the bad with the good, and loves me regardless. Who would live and die for me.

At least not again. Not under different circumstances and different times. Not in different lives, where things were possible and open. Where dreams came true. And the girl always got the guy.

I fear.

But I’m not alone.

“And it’s not like they were ever actually unhappy in the lives they lived
He married Martha, she married Tom
Just this vague notion that something was wrong
A naked absence, a phantom limb
An itch that could never be scratched.”



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