January 28, 2011 § Leave a comment
Today is one of those days, where my period is threatening to emerge at any moment, and I am emotional about everything I see. Over sensitive. And on the verge of crying over the most trivial of things.
But I’m not sad.
So this overflowing emotion, is kind of beautiful. In a way that only wanting to cry (without the bending and breaking of a heart), can be beautiful.
And I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about the beginning of last year. Where everything was so serious and life altering. Where I convinced myself that everything was unpleasant. Where I allowed that to be okay. And it seems so funny now. That I acted that way. That I didn’t fix it.
But I’m so thankful for moving on. For finding happiness and keeping it. For not relying on anyone else to give it to me. For being alone. And staying alone (sorry JM, you don’t count). And loving. And giving up. And living. And making decisions for myself.
For all of it.
And the truth is, I’m not so bad to be around. When I’m not being pathetically dramatic.
Even now, when everything is making me want to cry.
Because I’m smiling. Constantly smiling.